Friday, October 14, 2011

Ramblings of a poor tired soul

This week I have been thinking a lot of about President Dieter Uchtdorf's  talk given at the recent Relief Society Broadcast. He shared with us 5 things we should never forget and he called them "forget me not". I wont go into too much detail. You can go over HERE and read it for yourself. 

 This could not have come at a better time for me to hear. I really did need to hear that Heavenly Father knows me by name and loves me. He wants me to be patient with myself. He wants me to not forget the difference between a good sacrifice and a foolish sacrifice. He wants me to be happy now. He wants me to not forget about the "why" of the gospel.

  I often ask myself, where do I fit in the Lord's plan? How can I serve better? How can my family and extended family learn from me? How must I fulfill my responsibilities as a wife and mother? How can I help my parents feel of the Lord's love in their lives today? How can I share the gospel? All of these things I have listed are so important to me. It's who I am. It's who I was raised to be.  

 Elder Uchtdorf shared that instead of focusing on what I need to do and how I need to do it, I should be focusing on why we are asked to do it. As I reflect on that, the scripture that comes to mind is "For behold, this is my work and my glory- to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man" - Moses 1:39
As we take upon ourselves the name of Christ when we are baptized, we enter into a covenant to mourn with those that mourn, willing to bear one another burdens, comfort those who stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of Christ at all times, in all things and in all places _ Mosiah 18:8-10
We become, I dare to say, as Saviors for those around us. We become true disciples of Christ. I have fond memories of my mission companions. Being lost in the work helped us to focus and see so much success. It allowed us to use the atonement to help our friends come to the waters of baptism. 
Breanne, if you are reading this, thank you for being a wonderful example of a believer while tracting with me in the bitter snow. Even though no one would let us in.

As demanding as our live may be, if we live this promise from baptism, we WILL be able to do all that is required of us. 

I have always considered myself a healthy, active person. But lately I feel that I have no energy, and I can't bring myself to exercise or cook for myself if Kent's not home. For my body at 27 to feel like it's 60 causes me to be humbled and ask the Lord why. 
I have a beautiful healthy little boy who depends on me and learns from me, makes me smile and feel grateful for life. Yet, somedays I feel like I wont be able to get out of bed. It's moments like these that I wish I had my mom or a sister to comfort me and who I can call at anytime and have them come over to strengthen me as only a mother or sister can. But alas, I suppose we all have to experience our little moments of being alone in Gethsemane. 
 I recently read this talk by President Bruce R McConkie called The Purifying Power of Gethsemane

Most of the time we think of using the Atonement as Elder McConkie said, as "ransomed penitent souls from the pains and penalties of sin" but forget that it is also to heal a broken heart. It gives peace to a women who battles infertility, a person who has lost a loved one, a women trying to fulfill her responsibilities even though her mortal body doesn't have the strength, energy and health to do so. 
I find myself at this time needing more and more of the Atonement. It may take my entire life to learn how to allow the Atonement to heal me. 

After all that the Lord endured while in Gethsemane, the betrayal of Judas, the 40 stripes, being spit upon, carrying His own cross and much more. He endured everything he was supposed to endure and I can only imagine the wonderful feeling He must have felt when he uttered the words "it is finished." 
Don't you wish you could say that after every trial you have endured? 
In the scriptures we are reminded by the prophets that we must press on. We must have hope. We must endure to the end. We don't know when our end will come and I am grateful for that. I am grateful for being able to learn more on why we need to keep the commandments of God, why burdens are placed upon us, and why we must hold onto the Atonement of Christ. 

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